{I was a great mom until I had kids...}

I was the best mom. I was totally awesome. And I knew all the answers and all 17 of my kids behaved well and my house was clean everyday. This was all before I had kids. I knew exactly what what would work and what wouldn't work to make kids behave, sleep well, eat all their dinner without complaining, and cleaning up their toys. Seriously. I was super mom.

And then Evette was born. And overall, she was a pretty easy baby and I was a pretty good mom. It was more complicated than I had imagined. But, I was raising a human being, for heaven's sake, so of course it was going to be complicated. So I tried to figure out how Evette worked and went worked off of that.

And then Miriam was born. And everything I knew got thrown out the window.

Seriously. I know nothing

First of all, Miriam and Evette are like night and day different babies. Completely different in every way. Everything that I learned and knew with Evette, pretty much not applicable and I have to learn a zillion new things for Miriam. I took a a couple giant step towards the "nature" end of the "nature vs nurture" line after I had Miriam.
I know nothing.

And then around the same time, Evette decided to grow up and be more of a person than a baby and suddenly has her own thoughts and ideas and is verbal and aggressive enough to let everybody know about it.
I know nothing.

And then having two kids adds a completely new level of complication. Two kids is not twice as much work or twice as complicated, but exponentially so. Because they are not just two babies in two different rooms, but they obviously interact. Well, duh. But seriously.

Let me illustrate this point. This morning, was a cool misty morning and I wanted to go on a walk to enjoy the loveliness. This is how it went down:
Threw a few extra cheerios on Miriam's tray while I ran upstairs to get dressed.
Evette was reading on the couch.
Slid into a hoodie and my shoes and ran back downstairs because Miriam was crying.
Evette was being "mom" and took all of her cheerios and was feeding her one at a time so "she can't take two! Her mouth is too tiny!"
Sent Evette back to the couch to read.
Gave Miriam back her cheerios.
Ran upstairs to grab some pants.
Came downstairs with clothes for the girls and told Evette to get dressed while I started to change Miriam.
Evette didn't listen.
Miriam peed.
Ran upstairs for a new diaper.
Forgot the wipes - upstairs again.
Miriam cries big crocodile tears because she actually is getting separation anxiety (unlike Evette)
Evette still isn't getting dressed because she's trying to be so sweet by saying, "Oh Mir-rum stop crying! I right here!" very loudly in her face which makes her cry louder.
Run down to intervene.
Ask Evette again to get dressed ... somewhat nicely.
Get Miriam dressed.
Ask Evette again not so nicely.
Grab a jacket for Miriam.
Evette doesn't want one.
Finally wrestle some clothes onto Evette.
Ran up to get a hair tie for Evette.
Miriam and Evette rolling on the floor giggling because Evette was eating Miriam's toes.
Put Miriam's socks on again.
Throw Evette's hair into a ponytail.
Miriam is whimpering because all she wants is to snuggle.
Went to go get Miriam's pacifier and told Evette to get her shoes on.
She didn't listen.
Clipped on the paci.
Strapped on the shoes.
Went to load up the stroller.
No, Evette, you can't bring your dog, you have to ride in the stroller because I actually want to cover some distance on this walk.
Cries.
She still doesn't want a jacket.
Buckle Miriam in the stroller.
Ask Evette nicely to get in while I grab Miriam a blanket.
Miriam's in.
Evette's in.
Door's locked.
Evette wants a jacket.
Door is unlocked.
Jacket.
Door.
Locked.
Off we go.
2 blocks down the street and Miriam is asleep.
Time to turn around so sleepy baby can get her morning nap and not be grumpy for the rest of the day.

It's exhausting.
(and those of you with more than 2 kids, don't even say, "Wait until...." because there is nothing quite as annoying as a mommy friend who says "Wait until...." to downplay your current situation. And that will be another blog post.)

Two completely different kids. I used to be a great mom, then I had kids, and now I know nothing.

Just kidding. I know they are smart, and sweet, and beautiful, and children of God who were put into my care and need love. That's pretty much all I know - and that's enough.