I got bit

First off, let me remark that this is the 50th post on this blog. Heidi and I talked about doing something fun, and I even suggested that we post a song that we sing, like a birthday song (which I made up and song on the spot), but that idea fizzled out.

So now the 50th post won't even be all that cheery, because I intend for this post to serve as a vent more than anything else. Sorry.

If you've been reading my posts (I know most of you who follow us are actually just following Heidi - she is a doll - I can't blame you), you'll know that I've been ridiculously busy attending recruiting sessions and such as of late. Thankfully those meetings tapered of just in time for me to prepare for my midterms (yeah, it's that time already - no I can't believe it). I took one last Saturday (International Trade Theory) and that went really well. I took my international finance midterm on Thursday, and that also went really well.

And after those successes, I started to get a big head. I'd hardly kept up with my work in the weeks leading up to the midterms, crammed, and did really well. But today I got bit. Today came my intermediate macro economic theory midterm - which I'm pretty sure I failed. It'll get curved up, but I'm pretty sure I'll be on the bottom of that curve. Very very sad. I'd like to complain that it wasn't anything like the practice tests he'd given us or that it was a single question repeated in five different scenarios (which is awful when you get that basic question wrong, like I did), but really the failure was mine. I really would like to complain. I've brooded over it all day, but in the end I know that I didn't put in the time to actually study the underlying concepts well enough - which, again, is awful because the test was primarily focused on high-level concepts. And the fact that its entirely my fault and not my professor's adds to the sting of it all. I don't have "the man" to be mad at - just disappointment in myself for not putting in the time... Only 20% of my grade.

So I've been bit - I've lost the feeling that I'm gifted enough to naturally ace any test, once again. I can't wait till that feeling disappears entirely - or is it that feeling that pushes me to do big, great things?

-Sean