McQuay

McQuay

Friday, January 23, 2015

Pigs and bacon and the meaning of life

This is a conversation Evette and I had over Thanksgiving break while we were preparing bacon for quiches at Matthew and Judy's house. For context, Evette had been reading Charlotte's Web with Heidi so was well aware of where the bacon had come from.

I recorded the conversation day of, so pretty sure this is verbatim.



Evette: Why that pig have to die? 


Me: To feed us 

E: Why? 

Me: ..Because we got hungry?

E: Why his friends no help him? [referring to Wilber's friends in Charlotte's Web who help him avoid the butcher]



Such a good question, no?

You'd think such questions would indicate vegetarian leanings, but she loved eating that bacon.

Poop, head injuries, and pee

I have baby duty every Monday night while Heidi sings in her [awesome] choir. 

This last Monday I decided to give the girls a bath.

At some point during the bath, Miriam's face reddened, signalling she was going the bathroom. I shrugged it off, assuming she was peeing - gross, but oh well. But then I saw brown marbles appear all over in the water. 

"OH CRAP!"

I yanked Evette out of the water and told her to run and get wipes for me.

"Why?" (I wish when Evette asked "why" she did so out of genuine curiosity while responding to the request, but unfortunately that's never the case - it's the "why? that sounds like a ridiculous thing to do, and I'm not budging until I get an explanation" kind of "why"). After some sort of semi-panicked response she was convinced that I needed help and she ran down the hall, dripping wet, completely naked.

I pulled Miriam out of the water, set her down on the mat, and proceeded to fish the "floaties" out by hand. Disgusting but I couldn't think of an alternative fast enough.

I wiped Miriam, drained the bath tub, and rinsed the tub with the shower. We refilled the tub and the bath continued as if nothing had happened.

Fast forward 20ish minutes, Miriam is now cleaned, dried, lotioned-up, and in pajamas, Evette's still bathing and I've left Miriam to her own devices while I wash up Evette. Somehow during this washing, Evette slips and hits her head (that super sensitive part of the skull right behind and below the ear) on the corner of the bath tub. Naturally, she's screaming, soaked and covered in soap.

While I'm trying to calm Evette down I see Miriam out of the corner of my eye - she had gravitated towards the open toilet bowl, which Evette had not flushed after her most recent pee. Miriam was trying to fish out the toilet paper floating around in there, so I abandon my sobbing, exhausted 3 year-old to wash the hands of my wilting 1 year-old.

10 minutes later they were both in bed and somewhat clean. We all survived. It was a fun evening.


Wednesday, January 21, 2015

{Birthday Celebration}

We celebrated this little one's birthday on the 14th since Daddy and big sister had scouts the night of her actual birthday. She didn't seem to mind too much.
Since Christmas was just a few weeks ago, Miriam was all practiced up on unwrapping presents and did a great job, more or less.
We started the night by having a little FHE about the attributes of Christ and what Christlike attributes birthday girl has like being happy, giving smiles, loving others, etc. It was a great and thoughtful lesson that Sean put together.

Next we watched this video I put together of pictures from Miriam's first year. Makes me cry. It went by so fast!

And next was presents!
She got a lot of great books - which are always a major hit in this house.


I cannot get enough of this cheeser face!


My little musician.


Sean and I worked on this activity board for Miriam. It was a fun project to work on together. It has all sorts of different locks on it, a light switch, wheel, color matching, weaving... It was so much fun to build. A lot of work, but the girls love it!


And then for the cake! I made this vanilla cake and it was amazing! 

Little girl was fascinated by that candle. I held that one hand, but the other reached around the touched the flame. Oops. Awesome parenting right there. 

That's alright, she was good once she got her hands on that cake.

Happy Birthday little one! We love you!


Tuesday, January 20, 2015

{Happy 1 Year!!!}

Where has the time gone? My baby is now 1! I can't believe it's gone by so fast - I feel like she was just born! And yet, I cannot remember our lives without this little ray of sunshine (I think it had more sleep in it....). She fills my heart with happiness. 

Just this last week we moved her into size 6-9 month clothes, and now her pants are about the right length. Size 3 diapers, 3 shoes, usually 2 naps a day unless we're out and about.
She went to the dr on her birthday for her checkup and vaccines. She weighs about 17.5 lbs (15-20th percentile) and is right around the 50th percentile for height and head circumference.  She's growing beautifully.

She can stand! She doesn't like to do it very often, but we can trick her into doing it. She can also take a few steps on her own, again, if we trick her into it. She is pretty content to just crawl around and be carried. She likes to walk around holding on to furniture and hands, but doesn't really see the point of doing it on her own yet, and I'm ok with that. If she doesn't walk, she's still a baby, right? RIGHT? Right.

Her little golden curls are my favorite. I play with them all day long.

She's got 8 teeth now - her bottom one finally came in after being at 7 teeth for a couple months. She's got a nice even number now.

She likes to babble but doesn't have any words yet. Occasionally we'll get a "mamamamama" out of her or a "dah......dah", but not very often. We've started trying to incorporate a little bit of baby sign and she thinks that it's pretty cool that she can communicate with us a little bit.

She's still a snuggler and lover and nuzzler and it's my favorite. She now loves to give "besos" or "kisses" - it's adorable! Wide open mouth kisses upon request and out of the blue, so sweet!

She loves to wave at people all the time - at the grocery store, on our walk, at church. That toothy little grin with her underbite and little hand frantically flapping is about the cutest thing you'll ever see.

She's really started to explore and learn about the world around her. She likes to get into a lot of things and figure stuff out.

Overall, she's pretty chill and easy going.

She and Evette have been "playing" together a lot more now and it's so fun to see them love each other so much. As Evette tells us, they're best friends, and that makes my heart happy.
Here's some pictures from Evette's 1 year old birthday shoot. We have this first one printed off on a canvas and we'll pick one from Miriam's birthday to print and put next to it. My two sweet girls.



Miriam is a joy and light in our lives. Happy birthday sweet one! I'm so lucky to be your Momma.




Monday, January 19, 2015

2014 in books (Sean)

I've long known that I love fantasy - specifically sci fi - for its escapism, wonder, and allegorical power. The first half of my year's reading shows that. The second half, however, skewed surprisingly and sharply towards history - and I was surprised to find all of those same traits there, too.

I'm going to admit that the list is getting fuzzier - no longer can I clearly say I read X books and leave it there. That's not the full picture - this year I read 11.3 novels, 1 short story, 1 novella, and listened to 33 pod casts. And I feel just focusing on those 11.3 novels would give my year's literary intake a huge disservice, so I'm counting it all*. Most of those novels were my main fare - sci fi - but I'm firmly of the opinion that 13 of those pod casts I listened to are history book quality (in depth and length), quite tipping the tables in favor of non-fiction over fiction this year, much to my surprise.

*I'd also like to tip my hat at the untold millions of words read in online news and articles which I could never properly account for - my favorite "read it later" app, Pocket, says I read 374,283 words via their service, placing me in the top 5% of their users for the second year in a row, and that accounts for a very small percentage of my online article intake

Novels
The Richest Man in Babylon, George Samuel Clason
Non-fiction, money management / wealth advice book set in an allegory - the richest man of Babylon sharing the secret behind his wealth to a group of apprentices. The allegorical nature makes it a great read, and it has great content. The punch line: Pay god 10%, pay yourself 10% (i.e. save 10%) - "let your money work for you" - let that 10% earn interest, let that interest earn interest, and live off of that second-hand interest - never expending the principle.

Agent to the Stars, John Scalzi
Sci fi comedy. Surprise favorite. An alien race wants to make contact with humans but it recognizes humans would flip, so they make contact with a movie agent so he can "spin their story" to make them more appealing, friendly, etc. Hilarity ensues. Very silly, some very touching moments, too, and there's even good philosophy woven throughout. I love John Scalzi.

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, Philip K. Dick
Sci fi. Dark, post-apocalyptic thinker, poses questions on the definition of humanity, morals, religion, etc.

The Forever War, Joe Haldeman
Classic sci fi. Wonderful book about a young man who is enlisted to fight in a battle with an alien race. The story follows this soldier as he progresses through the military and, due to time dilation as his ships cross the galaxy between battles, a millenia. This is not a spoiler: He sees the beginning and end of the war and a 1000 years slip away in between. What does that do to a person? What is war for? I get border-line choked up whenever I think back on this book seriously. [Side note only to myself - I was reading this book when we moved from Dallas to San Francisco and was specifically reading this on the walk from our temp apartment to pick up our rental car. Now whenever I walk the streets of Foster City, images from this book flood back]

The Android's Dream, John Scalzi
Sci fi comedy. Very silly book. The title and some elements nod at the much more serious, "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?". Not recommended unless you love John Scalzi's work already and are willing to read a semi-decent book just for the privilege of reading one of his sillier, if less polished, works.

Sherlock Holmes: A Study in Scarlet, Sir Arthur Doyle
Heidi and I love BBC's "Sherlock" so I had to. Good read. Writing style is a little tedious for me, but I loved the characters and story.

Sherlock Holmes: The Sign of the Four, Sir Arthur Doyle
Same comments as above, plus - weird faux-Mormon interlude. Totally threw me off.

Jurassic Park, Michael Crichton
Read per Heidi's suggestion. Very fun read. As always, better than the already good movie.

Sherlock Holmes: The Hound of the Baskervilles, Sir Arthur Doyle
Same comments as above. Probably my favorite of the three Sherlock Holmes novels.

Lock In, John Scalzi
Crime/detective story set in the world established in Scalzi's novella, "Unlocked" (see below). Very fun read.

I, Robot, Isaac Asimov
Series of short stories semi-stiched together about humans and robots, focusing on Asimov's famous 3 Rules of Robotics. Not my favorite book. I've been recommended Asimov for years (he's regarded as one of the fathers of Sci-Fi) but I really struggled with this book. The ending kind of tied it up for me but... yeah. I sent my gripes to Brenden via email, which I'll immortalize here [and yes, I recognize that this is really exposing the full extent of my nerdiness]:

... Speaking of, I'm almost done with I, Robot. In a way I've really enjoyed it but I think I've more been dissapointed. Perhaps the biggest hurdle for me has been my inability to "suspend disbelief" regarding the positronic brain - somehow scientists created a nueron-path electronic brain, yet are otherwise rather technologically limited. I just have a hard time swallowing that. I also don't appreciate that there's really only 2-3 characters (and 50 years) driving the whole world's progress from basic robots to space faring utopia. Last gripe: the fact that they made a big deal out of the electronic diaphragm when speakers would have been so so much simpler (and the tech already existed when the book was written). I just don't get the robots - how they're used, their price, their quirks. Expressing these "gripes" may sound trite, but for a book all about these robots, it's a little weird for me. ...
...
Allow me to clarify my critique of I, Robot. I understand all Sci fi and fantasy has unbelievable elements to it - which I often love because they are usually present to help tell a human story. I even love pure technical speculation, dreaming up what machines might be. However, I feel that I, Robot is not resonating with me because (1) it's not about people (our main character, Susan is only a sounding board to Asimov's philosophizing on robots) and (2) it's tech fits in a strange alternative history that I'm having a hard time buying into. 
Compare that to The Forever War or Starship Troopers, both of which relied heavily on tech that we know doesn't make much sense (exoskeleton robots with virtually no computing power of their own, despite humanity presumably having the computing expertise to build the suits and spaceships in the first place). But in my mind that's OK because the tech was present to instead tell the tale of humanity's first forays into space. 
I wonder if I'd enjoy I, Robot more after reading Foundation so I could be instead convinced of the universe and fall in love with that and then spend time learning how it came about via Robot....

... And finally, the ".3" part of the 11.3 novels I read this year. I aborted reading
Joseph Smith: A Rough Stone Rolling, Richard Bushman
My rationale for dropping the book can be summed up in this series of Facebook posts [only my text is copied]:
I'm 25% of the way through "Joseph Smith: A Rough Stone Rolling" and am persistently annoyed with the poor writing and shoddy journalism. I was hoping to get an honest portrait of Joseph from a believer but Bushman is all over the place and no where at once.
I've been hearing glowing reviews for this book for years - can someone explain to me what I'm missing? Does it get better? Am I alone in this? 
Specific gripe: Referencing side stories but never elaborating them or at least explaining why he referenced it  
Specific gripe: No effort to help the reader follow the chronology or geographic migration of the story. He assumes you have a map and calendar on hand  
Specific gripe: I was looking forward to the "warts and all" portrayal of Joseph that everyone on Amazon raves about, but so far it's all been history and not particularly focused on Joseph - why he did what he did, how he felt, how Emma felt, etc. He's just recounting history. Is this just a product of the fact that I'm only up to the Jackson County era, before Joseph was really into journaling?  
Specific gripe: Bushman assumes you know 1800s vernacular, job titles, social positions, etc... basically he assumes you're a historian, too. 
... 
[name] to be fair, this is the first proper "history" book I've read outside of school assignments, so my perspective may be a little off  
...  
I think one reason I may be enjoying this "compiled primary sources" less than I'd expected may be due to the fact that I'm reading on a Kindle - with no visible footnotes - so a lot of what I'm reading feels random and out of place. With footnotes, it would make sense that I could follow the random reference to X event to see why Bushman mentioned it. As it is, I'm just left scratching my head



Short stories
The Election, John Scalzi

Novellas
Unlocked: An Oral History of Haden's Syndrome, John Scalzi
Oral history (think the style of "World War Z", the book) - the book is entirely taken from fictional interviews and news reports - there is no central narration. It's about a disease that kills a good chunk of the global human population and leaves a small chunk permanently and completely paralyzed (locked-in - "waking comas") and how humanity deals with that. Incredibly written, very engaging story. Set in present day / very near future.

Pod-casts
Hardcore History, Dan Carlin
Overall comment, as an introduction: Dan Carlin makes a big deal about him not being a historian - that he is, instead, a "fan of history." Either way, his histories are fascinating, highly engaging, and very well delivered. His passion for history bleeds through the recordings and is highly contagious. I record the pod-casts here in the order I listened to them. I began with episode #40 as that is the oldest currently available for free. (#40 through current are free, the older ones are $1-2 per episode). These are 3-6 hours per episode.
  • #40 - Radical Thoughts: More thought-provoking than history. How does a society based on freedom of thought deal with people who want to remove others' freedom of thought? Don't they have a right to that opinion? Largely told through the lens of the Red Scare - American's reaction to communism post World War II
  • #41 - Thor's Angels: History of the Germanic Peoples. Fascinating, if a little hard to follow due to the overload of names of people and places I had no grounding in.
  • #42 - Logical Insanity: Why did the U.S. drop the atomic bomb in World War II? Carlin explores the "logical insanity" of the bomb, fitting the decision to drop the bomb in the larger cultural context and military doctrine of fire bombing, etc. Very harrowing listen. World War II was terrible. Fire bombs are hell. 
  • #43-47 - Wrath of the Khans: Long series on Mongol history, from Genghis Khan down to his grandson, if I remember correctly. Absolutely mind-blowing story. Did you know that Mongols trampled medievil knights? Did you know that Mongols ruled Russia for like a thousand years, their sway ending only a few hundred years ago? Did you know that Genghis is one of the few rulers to build an empire from scratch, based largely on personal charisma AND have it continue in power after his death? Did you know that the Mongols killed millions upon millions of people under Genghis Khan, that Muslims were arguably the most affected, and that Islam has yet to recover - that they were the absolute leaders in philosophy and science, architecture, etc. but then sent back hundreds of years due to a few years of devastating massacres by Genghis Khan's forces? Dan Carlin poses the question, who would write kind words of Hitler? No one. Then why do we write such kind words of Genghis Khan? Only because time has separated us from the horror of what he did.
  • #48 - Prophets of Doom: The unbelievable story of a few millennial preachers, contemporaries of Martin Luther, who take over the German town of Munster and the chaos that ensues. 
  • #49 - The American Peril: The story of the Spanish American War and the awkward question of how freedom loving Americans dealt with conquering territories (and, as a result, ruling the people living in said territories, whether they like it or not). 
  • #50-53 - Blueprint for Armageddon: The history of World War I [still being told. Episode 54 came out a week or so ago and it sounds like there's at least one more episode before this mini-series is wrapped up] 
  • #1-9,24,25: Various titles and topics, you can look them up at dancarlin.com. After listening to all of Dan's most recent work I went back to the beginning, happy to pay. Unfortunately his old work isn't quite as engaging or polished as what I'd fallen in love with. I enjoy it because it's still good stuff, but I probably would not be evangelical about Hardcore History had I started at the beginning. I'm eagerly looking forward to discovering when, between episode 9 and 40 Dan Carlin found his stride. I hope it's soon. These earlier episodes came in at 30-90 minutes a piece.

Serial, Season 1, Sarah Koenig
12 episode pod cast discussing a convicted murderer (each episode 30-60 minutes). It's a true story, covered in real time as Sarah investigates a murder that happened 15 years ago. There's a lot of reason to question the evidence and the ruling. Sarah interviews the convicted murderer (who's serving a life sentence in jail), witnesses, people who knew the convicted and the victim, etc. trying to stitch together what really happen. The cool part? Sarah didn't know the answer going into it. She was learning as she went and was very transparent about that fact. She'd take feedback from listeners in real time, witnesses came forward and contacted her mid-season as they found out about the show, etc. Incredibly well narrated, fascinating story. I won't tell you how it ends, just that I was very pleased with how Sarah handled it and I agree with her final assessment.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

{Goals for 2015}

I've never really into New Year's resolutions - I figure, if there's something I want to do or things to change, might as well start now. Except for last year where I had the goal to lose about 45 lbs -
HA! I did it! Thanks, Miriam!

But this year, it's been a little different, and I have set a few goals for myself. Some of which I will not be sharing with you, but some I will.

My first goal is to be nicer. I wish I was a nicer person. So I made it a goal. Less snarky-ness, less need to be "right", more patience, more empathy.

Another goal is to not be in a rush anymore. I have noticed in the past few months that I am frequently in a rush. I hate to be late (I blame high school band on this one - if you're not early, you're late; if you're on time, you're late; if you're late, you're in big fat trouble) for anything and I usually have a ridiculous schedule in my head that if I don't adhere to, I lose my freaking mind. Which is absurd, obviously. So, I have made a goal not to be in a hurry anymore. If Evette puts her shoes on the wrong feet and has to take them off and put them on again, I will breathe and still survive, I'm confident. If on the walk to the post office Evette wants to stop and literally smell the roses, we will stop and literally smell the roses. No more rushing. It makes me grumpy, and my family grumpy, I mess things up because I'm too hasty, I miss teaching opportunities, etc... none of these are good things. No more rushing. Now, you fellow band people, no worries, I will not turn into those "show up 30 minutes after I said I would" people, but more of setting realistic goals and planning ahead to make things happen like they should. During these last 2 weeks, I've done a great job at this, if I say so myself!

I've also decided to have a motto for this year, which is to "Live Aware". Be aware of myself, how I'm feeling and how that can affect how I act, and my needs so I can take care of myself. Be aware of my family, their needs, how they're feeling, and how I can make them feel loved. Be aware of those around me, what their needs might be, and to be aware that I cannot possibly be aware of all that is happening with them, so to be patient, and kind, and understanding. Be aware of the world around me, how I can better my community, and make informed decisions.

Here I come, 2015!




{It's been quite a year}

This year. Geesh. Seriously. This year has been the hardest year of my life. It has been a doozy. It has been rough. It has put me through the ringer and back.

It was interesting to see everyone posting on facebook and instagram saying things like "what a great and wonderful and fantastic year it's been and hopefully this next year will be just as awesome and yada yada yada yada...." and then thinking to myself, "yeah, it's been a helluva year and I hope next year will be... not so much."

You might be wondering what could be so terrible or awful? And it's true, I live in a crazy beautiful place with a loving husband who has a great job and two sweet baby girls who are my world, what could possibly be so bad?

A lot. But you just can't see it.

Everyone has their own stuff. Some challenges or life struggles are more evident to the public, which has pros and cons to it, and some are hidden, which has it's own set of pros and cons. Everyone has their own stuff. EVERYONE has their own stuff. EVERYONE.

No one gets through this life unscathed and everyone is currently fighting a battle - whether it be a health issue, a family crisis, living in constant fear, financial struggles, worrying about their kids, trust issues, the loss of a love one, losing faith, depression, addictions, whatever.

Everyone is fighting something right now. Something (or more than one something) is making them scared, sad, stressed, or sick. It doesn't matter if you can see it or not, it's there.

So be patient. Be kind. Be understanding. Don't judge. Don't assume. Don't jump to conclusions.

---

All that being said, there have been some beautiful and cherished memories in this last year - including but not limited to: the birth of my second sweet baby, the blossoming of friendships, discovering the world around me, watching my siblings grow up and do great things with their lives, trying my hand at a few new hobbies, and having my little family grow together.

Just because hard things happen does not mean that we can discount all the good that has happened.

The year 2014 has definitely stretched my heart - never before in my life have I felt such highs and such lows. Both extremes.

"For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things." 2 Nephi